Baby-Shabby To Chic...

Day 22: Saturday, August 7, 2010
Baby-Shabby To Chic...

Against the typically casual pace of the Lake, we rushed around like a couple of crazies this morning in an attempt to get out of Jer and Sue's house before their Realtor showed up to show their house to a potential buyer. As though HGTV or Ty Pennington were following us around, we turned the place from baby-shabby to chic in no time flat. Oh, and Mark fixed a lamp in the RV, because he's handy like that.

Off to Arkansas, we drove through some roller-coaster like back roads with an abundance of roadside boot shops. After about two hours Mark was convinced that he was also meant to have boots... but thank goodness we didn't see another shop after that. Too bad, because those would have been some seriously entertaining pictures...

Concurrently, Mark decided that if he could not have boots he would have barbecue. Maybe it's a cow craving? Either way, he found us a nice little barbecue shack and we were able to fill our bellies with baked potatoes stuffed with shredded pork, cheese, sour cream, barbecue sauce, and jalapeños. Our arteries hated us more and more with every bite. Of course we just told ourselves that despite what 2005 and The South Beach Diet might have had us believe, carbs really aren't the devil.

We grew tired and decided to stop in Powhatan, Arkansas, population 50. Their main strip provided a one-room "Ladies and Gentleman's Academy," an abundance of bait shops, and the path to Lake Charles State Park. We eagerly set up shop at this lovely campground. Andrew, having been couped up all day, decided to do some driving of his own.

We don't have an actual bathtub in the RV, so we use this "tub" in our shower - and our little man thinks it's pretty funny.

As April bathed baby, Mark busted out his camping hatchet and built us a fire with his bare hands (seriously) - it was lovely.

Baby asleep, we gleefully assembled ourselves and headed out to enjoy the beautiful campfire. We immediately noticed that the once busy campground had suddenly become silent without a fellow camper in site. Why was everyone indoors? Thirty seconds later we were descended upon by every mosquito in Arkansas. To say they were attempting to eat us alive seems like an understatement. April ran screaming inside, Mark doused the flames with water in a plastic cup and did the same. Covered in bites, we determined that we were better off curling up with the laptop and watching Funny People over microwave popcorn. With the air conditioner a blazin' - that's just what we did. Seems that after almost a month on the road, luxury camping is still more our style.

Water Day

Day 21: Friday, August 6, 2010
Water Day

With April's Dad back in town, we headed out on the water again today for our last full day in the Ozarks. Of course, we stopped to eat first...

Once done with lunch, we headed to over to Bear Bottom Resort to check out this water slide/swim-up bar combo.

It was the kind of place that, up close, made us turn on a dime before our child could touch anything... even though the little college party voice in our heads yearned to stay behind. In our brief time there we did manage to see a bachelorette party celebrating at the swim-up bar. Their gathering included a soaked veil, bridesmaids in bikinis, and the bachelorette's dad buying her a body shot. Only in Missouri...

We were feeling pretty old until we spied this dock and knew that there are still those that welcome our 30-something pace...

Wanting to take full advantage of the Lake, Mark hopped on the skis and showed us all how it was done.

April took her turn as well - and as she jumped off the boat Andrew said "Bu-buy Mama." She was not as graceful in her skiing attempt... and all pictures have self destructed (Inspector Gadget style). All that remained was this shot of Andrew - which clearly showed what he thought of his mother's skiing....

Before the day was through, Andrew finally got to take his first shot at driving the boat with Grandpa...

Once back at the house, Andrew got so excited when we filled up the baby pool with this big pot that he decided he would just swim in that.

Of course there was barely room in the pot for him, much less a swollen diaper, so we had one very giggle naked baby on our hands....

Dominated by Jer and Sue once again in our nightly Sequence game, we've come to realize that we've done about as much as we can do here for now. We packed up the RV and mapped out the upcoming route for our last week on the road. One more week just doesn't seem like enough, but we are excited to see what lies ahead. Tomorrow - off to Arkansas...

Captain Ron

Day 20: Thursday, August 5, 2010
Captain Ron

Nestled deep in the heart of the Ozarks is a funky little gathering spot called Captain Ron's. The attire is everything pirate (perfect for our friend Jana) and John Daly drinks are served up icy cold (perfect for our friend Robin). Ron pipes in sand by the ton to keep a "beach" rockin' and rollin' at the lake. Couple the cool sand with a selection of colorful Adirondack chairs and cup-holding umbrellas and you have the makings of one fine afternoon. Plus, you can busy yourself with awesome quotes from the Captain Ron movie...

Andrew wasted no time finding his perfect lounger. Despite the perfect "baby" lounger right in front of his face, he looked at it like "Really? That thing? I prefer to go big or go home."

Mark built a mean sand castle with empty Captain and Coke cups. After all, when in Rome...

The day melted away right before our eyes and we played and laughed (and ate nachos) in the sun until we were ready to go home and bathe our sandy baby. This is probably a good time to warn all of you back home that we will not be returning any skinnier... as if you didn't know that by now.

Back at the ranch, Mark was giving Andrew a bath when from out of nowhere he grabbed the Ivory and took a bite.

Screaming and flailing like a couple of first-time parents, Mark tried everything in the book to get Andrew to open his mouth, but he just swallowed it down and began the gagging/crying process. Panic ensued until Mark turned to Google and discovered that this sort of thing is usually harmless. The always correct Internet recommended that we give the kid some milk and food to help his little tummy feel better, and so we did.

Tonight we are feeling grateful that it was just soap... and thinking of feeding our hungry baby before the bath tomorrow night. Live and learn.

FYI: The Urban Dictionary's Definition of a John Daly:

Like an Arnold Palmer Half and Half (50% Lemonade/50% Iced Tea) but with a twist in the only John Daly Style. Booze is of course added. (Numerous wives and children as well as trips to rehab are your own option) 1 Gallon Iced Tea 1 Gallon Lemonade 1 750ml 110 Proof Vodka 1 Afternoon to Waste. Man at bar: "My 6th wife left me, I had to take a paternity test today, my rehab sponsor dropped me, and I haven't placed in a golf tournament in years." Barkeep: "Easy there, Scumbag. I'll fix you a John Daly." Robin's Note: Sub Sweet Tea Vodka and save yourself some steps. Still need the lemonade and one afternoon to waste.

Big Day Out

Day 19: Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Big Day Out

Wednesday begged us to partake in indoor activities in order to hide from the suffocating heat of Missouri. Since Jerry had to head back to Illinois for a few days, April and her Mom wasted no time in declaring it a shopping day and headed out early. Super Dad Mark and Andrew held down the fort at the house with a big day of playing, movie watching, and napping. Thankfully, the Grandparents had loaded Andrew up with all sorts of new movies and toys to entertain him (including this new train - which none of us can get back together quite right since we took it out of the box).

After a long day of shopping and an even longer day of babysitting for Mark, Sue offered to take Andrew for the night while we headed out for date night. Having an hour to kill between dinner and Inception, we played a lighting round of Mini Golf... which April calls "Perky Putt" since she's from Seneca.

After two consequtive hole-in-ones, Mark got a little too confident and busted out the video camera with hopes of capturing his greatness. Too bad April took that moment to dominate hole three and take the lead.

A late movie and lots of popcorn later, we navigated the tricky back roads of Missouri in the pitch black between lighting strikes and finally made it home safely. Another Missouri vacation day in the books!

Bennett Spring State Park

Day 18: Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Bennett Spring State Park

Practically knocked out by the 106 degree weather in Missouri, we headed to Bennett Spring State Park for some fun in the cold spring.

Picnic lunch in tow, first stop was the playground - which lasted about 5 minutes longer than we thought it would in the scorching heat.

Next, off to the 55 degree cold spring - a haven for fly fishermen (or fisherpeople, we suppose) and a quick cool-down for sweaty families such as ours.

With our extremities sufficiently numbed from the icy cold water, we loaded back into the Steinhour van and headed home for some relaxation on the screen porch, Mark's Famous "Dada Pasta," and a bottle of red, bottle of white... Cheers to forecasts of cooler weather on the way!

On the Boat Again...

Day 17: Monday, August 2, 2010
On the Boat Again...

Taking in all things "Ozark," we were back on the boat again today for more fun in the sun.

First stop was another trip to Gators for some "snacks" and a game of shuffleboard. Against our better judgment, we just couldn't resist the sweet potato fries and onion rings... again... and beer... again.

To work off some of our mounting calories, Jerry and Sue put a beating on us at the shuffleboard table. We maintain that it wasn't really fair because Jer was the designated driver and therefore could better concentrate. Final score... 15 to 9, Royans lose...

For a real lunch (this goes to show how our opinion of real food has been shifted while in Missouri) we cruised over to Buck's Boat House. A super tiny, super delicious 50's style burger joint in a metal shack built around an ice fishing hole. Seriously... we couldn't make this stuff up.

Of course no one was ice fishing today as the weather hit almost one hundred degrees. Here, burgers are served up in wax paper by these two ladies who will get you just about anything you need, except silverware. "You'll have to just use your fingers, honey."

After much too much fried food, we headed back to the house to swim off the dock and take it easy. Andrew made it clear that he was ready to get off the boat.

We are pretty sure our baby hates us for many things, not the least of which is all of the ridiculous gear required for him to have a "good time" on the water. Behold our "vacation baby" - complete with the following:

Life Jacket
Swim Diaper
Swim Shoes
Ear Plugs (thanks to new ear tubes)
Ear Band (to secure ear plugs)
Sunscreen
Sun Hat
At least one... and often two... adults holding on to him wherever he goes...

In times like these we wonder if he ever likes being with us at all, or if he would prefer a simple day at Gymboree or the Library to all of this madness? Either way, we've come to the conclusion that he better get used to it - we're not getting any less crazy as the years go by. We love you, little man - bear with us!

The Arrival of August

Day 16: Sunday, August 1, 2010
The Arrival of August

The arrival of August has made it all too clear that this vacation will, eventually, have to come to an end. With two weeks to go, we made it a point to get back on the tourist circuit and see some sites. First stop was to one of our favorite wineries, Casa De Loco, located in a former Sanitarium.

While Grandpa chilled in the car with a sleeping baby, we got down to the business of tasting some delicious wines with April's Mom... and then we ate 3 pizzas.

Apparently with much wine comes silly pictures... These were really meant to show how lost we are without our usual Casa De Loco buddies, Wes and Amber, but they ended up just making us look crazy (like the former residents of this establishment). Wamber... these two glasses were supposed to be for you guys!

Eventually Drew woke up from his van nap and toddled in to check things out. Contrary to popular belief, we discovered that wineries are great for babies. Not only is there lots to touch and see - but also an endless supply of crackers. To be clear - the picture below shows April's wine and Andrew's sippy cup - not the other way around.

After our wine tasting, we headed to Tunnel Dam for some stream splishing and splashing...

After a long day of drinking and swimming (not typically a good combination in the other 49 states, but just the way things are done in Missouri), we headed back to the house for dinner and some much needed sleep. Goodnight Missouri!